e[lust] 60

Elust #60 Chintz header300
Photo courtesy of Chintz Curtain

Welcome to Elust #60 

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #60? Start with the rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Shame Hurts

Of Cocks and Cunts: The Language of Erotica

#RealBodiesAreSexy

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

I may never suck another cock, but I’m still

The sofa

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7

days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

My Aftercare
YKINMK but My Kink is Not YOUR Kink either
Nerds, Pervs, and Jeffrey Dahmer
Sex Is Simple. That’s Why It’s So Complicated
Cuckolding. The Step Child of BDSM?
What Is A Man’s Role At A CFNM?
Happily whipping Jesus
What are your views on the ethics of kink?
FetLife and The Single Gal
How Porn and BDSM Helped Me

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Tall guys! You’re a bunch of sick perverts!
In Which I Fuck Up and My Uterus Saves Me
Why Is There So Much Shame?
Birds do it, Bees do it…
Little Lower Layer
Wooing, pursuing, romancing a dominant woman
Sexual Freedom. Why Do I Feel I Need to Hide.
Our Age Gap Shouldn’t Be Your Insecurity
Advanced kegel: stroking with only PC muscles
Impress your lover with these oral sex moves

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

The Hashtag Activism…It Burns It!
Sex Worker Etiquette
Rant Break: SCOTUS and Hobby Lobby Rage
Subs Need Classes Too!

Erotic Fiction

A Flight Attendants Secret
Relentless
Sit
Festival car park fun
Private Performance
And The Band Played On
Consequences Part One

Blogging

A warning for erotic writers and sex bloggers
Bloggy, Soggy, and Sexy

Erotic Non-Fiction

Don’t Ever Make Me Wait Again
Words

Poetry

Satan’s String – a Lusty Limerick

Writing About Writing

Writing Erotica for Trans Readers Pt 1

 

The language of schoolgirl spanking stories 3

Schoolgirl spanking stories are written almost exclusively from the female point of view. In a sense, the character who is most objectified, who does sexual things convenient to the plot but has no thoughts or inner life, is the sexy headmaster

All of the doubts, desires, fears and joys are assigned to the schoolgirl. That’s just how schoolgirl spanking stories are written. 

Me, I write mostly from a male Dom point of view. I use that perspective to try to tell the truth about the way domming works. That includes writing about some of the self-doubts, the fuck-ups and the bluffing involved. As well as how fantastic it feels when everything’s working.

I think we know, pretty closely, what both of those people are experiencing

We know, pretty closely, what both of those people are experiencing

That’s a conscious choice. It’s not just “write what you know”. I think most doms and subs actually have a pretty good idea about their partner’s pleasures and how they work. A submissive knows what’s going to make his or her dom turned on, just as a dom knows how to reach his or her submissive. And we know from our own sensations how the complementary desires of our partner feel. We know each other pretty well, we doms and subs.

I think the main reason I stay with a male focus is that I haven’t seen much writing about domming, or male dominance, that even tries to be truthful about what’s happening in the dom’s head. 

The language of schoolgirl spanking stories 2

There’s also more coyness about the naming of parts in the schoolgirl spanking story. For example, I generally use the word “cunt” to mean female genitals, but schoolgirl spanking stories don’t.

I use the word with respect and admiration. I think it’s the correct English word, the only neutral word that’s not derogatory, at least in its derivation, nor a Latinate affectation, nor a euphemism. Or it should be. 

But I have to ignore the fact that a lot of people use the word as an insult.

paI wish they bloody well wouldn’t, because of the misogyny underlying that. Even when it’s used ironically and the speaker would say the misogyny is a dead meaning, it’s still there. You only have to change the tone of voice very slightly for the meaning to change from an affectionate “just between us” friendly insult  (“ah, ye silly old cunt”) to have it express hatred: “you cunt”, or “you fucking cunt”.

I feel okay about using the word to mean the female genitals because I never use it as an insult. I like the word’s plainness, the lack of coyness. It’s still the best word for conveying extreme sexual admiration and enthusiasm.

Though in practice it’s up to a woman how she refers to her own genitals. If she prefers “pussy”, then pussy it is.

If she’s submissive, I may make a project of teaching her to say cunt, and mean it proudly. But only if I’m certain that she trusts that I mean the word without any disapproval or hostility, and that I have nothing but adoration for every single aspect of her cunt. I’ve learned – by mildly fucking it up – that you have to tread pretty carefully. You can’t undo years of linguistic experience, most of it bad, with a wave of the domly hand.

Anyway, I’m a man who says “cunt” to mean female genitals, and never to mean “unpleasant person”. But in schoolgirl spanking stories, you don’t encounter the word very often. The strongest word you’re likely to see if “pussy”. If the schoolgirl experiences sexual stirrings, dampnesses and such, then they’re likely to happen “there”, or “down there”.

If she gets a cock, fingers or tongue in her cunt, the story will say he entered “her”. She takes “him” in “her”: pronouns standing in for genitals.

That’s the diction. The schoolgirl spanking story is set at “coy”. That doesn’t stop the stories being sexy. I wrote mine to be as hot as I could make it. But it strikes me as an odd way to talk about sex.

The language of schoolgirl spanking stories 1

I’ve been posting episodes of a schoolgirl spanking story. I’ll explain why I wrote it later.

But if you’ve been reading it, or you go back and read it, and you read other stuff I’ve written, you’ll see that they’re in completely different styles.

The schoolgirl spanking story is a genre in its own right, with various stylistic tics. It’s like the way magazines and newspapers put out style guides for their writers: if you’re going to write a schoolgirl spanking story, you may as well follow the style.

You could, for example, try to write a schoolgirl spanking story set in the real world, in which case there’d have to be a lot of emphasis on how the teacher expects to get away with the breach of trust, even assuming he or she isn’t breaking age of consent laws. There’d also be the moment when the student realized that the teacher has gone so far out on a limb, legally and career-wise, that the power rests with the student. All they have to do is blow the whistle, and the teacher is gone. But a story like that wouldn’t be a sexy story. Issues of personal damage, power and betrayal would come to the fore.

 So I’ve written a very traditional schoolgirl spanking story, full of things that could never happen in the real world. I’m a traditionalist about pleasures. Not politics so much, but pleasures for sure.

I'm not wearing any panties, you know. Oh, sorry, did you call me?

I’m not wearing any panties, you know. Oh, sorry, did you call me?

For example, your schoolgirl spanking story has a particular kind of diction. It’s slightly old-fashioned, and it’s more than slightly coy.

For example, schoolgirls always wear “panties” in schoolgirl stories, at least until they’re taken off. But in real life a lot of women dislike the word “panties”. They’d say it sounds like a word that a heavy breathing phone pervert might say.

There’s also the way the word is associated with little girls, and using it as a sexy word for something that adult women wear sounds somewhere between awkward and actually creepy.

Japan. It's always bloody Japan, isn't it?

Panties in Japan. It’s always bloody Japan with these things, isn’t it?

But then other women love the word panties. They have drawers full of frilly panties, backless panties, frontless panties, silk panties with ties, print panties, white cotton panties, and so on.

They could probably be happy spending a night just bouncing and saying the word over and over: “panties, panties, PANTIES, pan-TIES, panties,” etc.

(There’s a tune that goes with that.) I’ve always stopped them from spending a night that way, so I’ll never know for sure, but they seemed ready to go on indefinitely.

I use the word “knickers”, myself, if I’m talking to a woman and I think there’s a chance I’ll get to take them off if I don’t fuck it up. “Knickers” doesn’t trigger the “panties” ickiness. I think it’s a cool word, partly because it reminds me of “cami-knickers” and I think cami-knickers are stylish and sexy.

But in schoolgirl spanking stories, the female cast wears (or removes) panties, and that is that.That’s the word, and if you use a different one you’re not writing a schoolgirl spanking story.

There’s a lot more to be said about the language of schoolgirl spanking stories, but the next instalment will have to wait till tomorrow.

A night at the opera

I was at Rossini’s “Barber of Seville” at Holland Park last week.

It’s not my favourite opera at all. It’s probably not even going to trouble my top 100 favourite operas. It’s partly because I hate Figaro’s “Largo et factotum” patter-song, which is one of the models for the scenes in Disney animation films where a major character comes on and immediately sings a song announcing who they are. Anyway, most baritones make a huge meal of it. It hasn’t got much musical interest, and I can’t see how anyone can find it funny, so there you are.

Anyway, this performance made the best case for “Barber” that can be made. It helps comic operas a lot if you have singing actors who look the part at least slightly, and who have a vague idea of what might be funny.

Anyway, for once I fancied the female lead, Rosina. She was sung by Kitty Whately, and she managed to turn the boring virgin of most productions into a girl who’s up for it and well worth chasing. She doesn’t want to be chased, or chaste; she wants to be caught.

In fact, she sings this:

“I’m gentle, and respectful. I’m obedient, I’m soft and loving.

I let myself be ruled, I let myself be guided.

But touch me in the wrong way, and I’m a viper.

I’ll make them fall, before I submit.”

Which is a sort of Submissive’s Creed, isn’t it?

E[lust] 58

Elust #58

Pandora
Photo courtesy of Pandora Blake

Welcome to Elust #58 

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #59? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Do NOT take my rapeplay fantasy away from me!

Pulp Fiction

“O” is for Outlaw No More

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The Second Letter

The Wake

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Orgasm Denial Games and Ideas
What is “Normal,” Anyway?
Abject Submission 3: Only the Gift
Is All BDSM Sexual? #KinkySex
A new Dom asked me for advice
Let’s Talk Sex Stigma
What I want
On Being Submissive
Dildos in Wonderland – Fantasy Sex Toys

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

My sexual Assaults
Risky Business
What is feminist porn?
Butt Plug Weekend (Humor)
The Shaming of Slut Shaming
Do Bisexuals Need To Be More Upfront?
Why I Don’t Support CatalystCon

Erotic Non-Fiction

The ‘Good’ Girl vs The Whore – Marriage
Well Laid
The sheer poetry of pegging a homophobe
The Missouri Misery’s Maiden Voyage
On the Edge (Touch Your Cock for Me)
Parking On A Dirt Road
Masturbation: The Big Finish
The four-day orgasm
Dear lover

Writing About Writing

Imagining Disabled Characters in Erotica

Poetry

Simple Needs – a Lusty Limerick

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

On Happiness and Risk
Sex addiction – a primer
More Than Bend Over Boyfriend Toys

Erotic Fiction

Neverland
X marks the spot
Chain Links and the Rail Marshall
The Devil and the Golden Ring
A lonely day in Paradise
Mine Is Bigger Than Yours
Rub It Harder
Face Splash – Part 1
Stray Kat
Sneaky Sexy Snippet of A Work in Progress

Blogging

56 posts later …

 

E[lust] 56

 elustheaderPhoto courtesy of Understanding Fluttery

Welcome to e[lust] 

This blog is part of the E[lust] circle. And here’s the latest e[lust] digest, E[lust] 56.

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Trick of the Light

What Does Porn Lead To

The Posh Life of a Sex Toy Reviewer?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Eleven Quarters

Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Watchman
Short Story: Tucked Away
Property’s Progress
Glass Houses
Proud and Prejudged
You’ll Do…. Now Step Closer.
Pet Ballerina
Superotica Valentine – Day 7
Get In Me, Daddy
White Gloves

Blogging

Posting a photo a day!
How to Handle Your Junk in Public
My first trick on a corner
Mid Morning Musings ~ The Catharsis of Pain
Francesca Woodman Inspired Self Portraits
Eve’s Quandary – Blogging Between Fig Leaves
What I Be

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why 3 out of 4 young women don’t masturbate
An Open Letter To Sex Toy Manufacturers
Daily Photo – Day 1: Full Disclosure

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Fantasies, deep and dark
Fun with ropes
Where we started from
Kink from a humbler perspective
To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable
Reader Q&A: How does a sub say ‘no’?
Finding Balance

Erotic Non-Fiction

Suspended
Sister, Oh Sister
My First Trick
This one’s for you
Angela’s orgasm 
His Rope Show
Finger Banging With Daddy
Feeding Submission
Valentine’s Day Diary
Balance at the Boat Launch
Rope, Rhino Cock, and a Balancing Act
Exquisite

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Monogamous, Kinky Couple-Friends
As Lust Fades
A discussion with Mom
When Did You Realize You Were Dominant?
How to Fake an Orgasm
How To Increase Your Libido Without Cialis

Writing About Writing

Talking Dirty
Fiction! Thank You!

Poetry

I’m Willing To Earn The Right
Bad habits

elustbutton200

E[lust] #54! – for your browsing pleasure

e[lust] – your source for lust in the electronic form


e[lust] #54

 

Elustheader  Photo courtesy of  Gritty Woman

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #55? Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

 

How children will break UK Internet filters.

Submissive, Not Passive

When Sex and Disabilities Collide

 

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Tribute to a Selfie

The Pawn

 

 

 

~ Readers Choice from  Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Blogging

My 20 of 2013
Hello 2014

Erotic Fiction

Call Me Maybe
To Watch…
Holiday Travails
The third message
So You Want to Worship Me…Start Here.
Three Stories Up
Men in cages
Lucky Mascot – Huddle: Sex With Sporty Queers

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sex Toys Storage: Hiding from People
SexyLittleIdeas -11 Annoying yet Sexual Dares
His PTSD Cheated on Me
Cum
You’re Art but I’m Not
Anger and intimacy
Among a Sea of Submissives
Object
My experiences with unwanted intercourse

Erotic Non-Fiction

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble
The Storm Behind the Calm
Why I eat your pussy
Light My Fire – Zoe Tries Fire Play
Spreading Christmas Cheer
I write a letter to The Neighbor
Humiliation
Sa’afia’s punishment night (1st IV scenes)
Both ends of the spectrum
Love of Flesh; Want for Blood
First Blush
Birthday Burning

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Dear Mollena…
The Best Motivator
on liberties taken.
Submission, More Than A Feeling
Breaking Prude – The Dirty Seven

Poetry

Just Touch It
A Time To Cum

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Shoe Fetishism – RZ


elustbutton200

One smallow interlude: Lesbia’s sparrow #4

Lesbia. Painting by John Reinhard Weguelin.

Lesbia. Painting by John Reinhard Weguelin.

My honeygirl, she holds her sparrow to her breasts

And plays with it, all greedy, it’s her delight

she pets it with her little finger, gives it a tweak,

hoping it’ll give her a sharp bite.

When my glorious desiregirl is moved

to play with a little thing she loves, 

I guess, when hard passion’s done and down,

It can give her relief and lift her frown.

I wish I could play with you like she does,

And ease her mind and all its woes. 

 

That translation’s mine. But that’s just vanity on my part. There’s no shortage of Catullus translations.

Anyway, there are people who say a sparrow is just a sparrow. But the imagery of the sparrow poems is too sexual for that to seem likely. And when the sparrow dies, Catullus calls on Eros and the Amors, the little gods of love, to weep for it. If it was just a dead pet sparrow, Eros wouldn’t give a hoot about it, or a twang. 

There are people who say it’s Catullus’s cock. I’d thought so when Svitlana took my cock and balls in her hand and cradled them like a pet. That happened in “One swallow doesn’t make a spring #20”, which you can find below. Svitlana’s gesture, playful and loving, though we were more or less strangers, reminded me of Catullus’s sparrow poems.

But I went through the process of translating them, expecting to find a poem in which a woman lovingly handles her man’s cock. I thought there’d be submissives who’d like the imagery, and the sense of being in a cock-cradling tradition over 2,000 years old. But as I went through the poems, I realised I was wrong. 

Lesbia. Victorian painting. She keeps her sparrow in her lap. Peep! Peep!

Lesbia. Victorian painting. She keeps her sparrow in her lap. Peep! Peep!

The sparrow is Lesbia’s cunt. She plays with it when Catullus is worn out and has no more “hard passion”. She puts her little fingers in and it bites, or at least the lips close on her finger. And Catullus would like to play with it too, until he gets his passion back. 

So what does it mean when her cunt “dies”, in the second sparrow poem? First, it’s possible that the death is the proverbial “little death”, and it’s a mock elegy on Lesbia’s orgasm. I can’t actually remember an example, in Latin literature, of the idea of orgasm as a kind of small death, or at least a shut-down of the body, but it’s certainly an old idea. If I can find an example from the right historical period, that would be useful. 

Second, it’s a prefiguring of the death of Catullus’s and Lesbia’s love. Her cunt becomes, in a sense, “dead to him”. 

One piece of support for the idea that Lesbia’s “sparrow” was her cunt is that Catullus uses the Latin word “passer”. This means any small bird, and not necessarily a sparrow. But “passer” also has a slang meaning, though we don’t know how old this slang meaning is. In Italian “passera” means both little bird and “vagina”. Did it mean that in ancient Rome too? 

cunnus_diabli_by_nikongriffin-d569gs9Here I’m just going to guess, and say that some slang terms, like the ones for genitals, don’t change much, or at all, over time. So “passer” probably did make Catullus’s readers think of cunt. And sparrows too, of course.

Anyway, Lesbia’s sparrow was well worth her time, and Catullus’s.