An episode from the later life of O has been discovered in the pocket of an overcoat in the Department of Lost Documents. It takes place shortly before O’s notorious entry into Celebrity Rehab. The manuscript appears to be in Harold Pinter’s hand-writing.
(First Bouncer, a man in a too-tight tuxedo, stands in a doorway under a discreet sign that reads: “Sir Stephen’s: All-nite Bdsm Club”.)
First Bouncer: Quiet tonight.
(The club door opens and the Second Bouncer appears, pushing a naked woman, with “I Heart Sir Stephen” branded on her left buttock, out the door and down the steps.)
Second Bouncer: You shouldn’t be coming back, ma’am.
First Bouncer: I was saying, quiet tonight.
Second Bouncer: Mmf.
O (for the naked woman is she): Lemme back inside, you Nazi bastard!
Second Bouncer: You were bothering the proprietor, ma’am.
O: Look, all I said was, ‘Dominate me, Steve, you know, like in the old days?’ So what’s wrong with a girl asking for a bit of attention?
Second Bouncer: Sir Stephen says you’ve been stalking him.
First Bouncer: He said he can’t look out his window without you on his lawn, screaming for a flogging.
O: I belong to him! He must punish me.
First Bouncer: Rattling your pussy rings at him.
Second Bouncer: Most upsetting.
O: He put them on my body when he made me his!
First Bouncer: They’re not bloody castanets, you know.
Second Bouncer: Anyway, you were upsetting the patrons.
O: Patrons! I was upsetting his new slaveboi, more like. But, oh well… [Sighs.] You know, you’re kinda cute yourself, aren’t you? And you were pretty masterful, back there. A girl likes that.
Second bouncer: I’m gay, ma’am.
O: Oh. Well, how about…
First Bouncer: I’m submissive.
O: Men! You’re useless, the lot of you. I’m off to Anne-Marie’s. [O stomps off.]
Second Bouncer: Yeah. Pretty quiet.
[He holds the door for the proprietor, who leads another man on a leash.]
Sir Stephen: Coming, René?
René: No, Master, it’s just the way I’m standing.
[Tish-boom! Black-out.]
