Probation officer #47: Good day sunshine

Pants pants. Ana hated them. She was right, though I didn't say so.

Pants pants. Ana hated them. She was right, though I didn’t say so.

This time Ana didn’t stay when our time ran out. Her work clothes were making her uncomfortable. It wasn’t so much that they were physically uncomfortable, though they were that. She didn’t like me seeing her look so sexless. So I broke some more rules, this time doing the right thing, by giving her another hug before she left. I whispered in her ear that she’d be okay tomorrow.

And I growled, “banana smoothie.” So I got a split-second smile and a nod before she left.

I got home feeling bleak. I’d picked up some of Ana’s mood. I thought I’d call Sa’afia and see if she was free on Friday.

But my phone rang before I’d had time to have a shower. It was Sa’afia, with promise and meaning in her voice. Her mother had gone out, and had just called to say she was looking after a friend and wasn’t coming back tonight.

Good day sunshine

Good day sunshine

So would I like to come round? To Sa’afia’s house? To help her have dinner? Possibly bringing her some wine?

I said I had sunshine on a cloudy day, and she said what in the world, and I said I’d be right there, and she said, oh! but it isn’t remotely like the month of May, and I said, May, Schmay, will you be naked, and she said, maybe, but there was only one way to find out.

It doesn’t take much to cheer me up.   

Oh, Rodriguez? When I’d found him, back on Monday morning, he said he’d missed his anger management class because he’d slept in. I said that if he thought the course was crap, that was exactly why he had to go to all the sessions. He had to show that he could put up with annoying things without going nuts, if he wanted me, and cops and lawyers and judges to stay out of his life. He asked me for a lift to work, and if I’d drop his kids off at school, since that was on the way. That was to annoy his wife. She didn’t approve of my van. 

But I liked my van, and Rodriguez’s kids thought it was hilarious. They made sure everyone at school saw them piling out of the sliding doors when I stopped by the school gates. So he got his matrimonial victory. I told him he could pay me back by going to his stupid course. 

And on Wednesday evening I put on a new shirt and got into my van. Then I thought more about the tone of Sa’afia’s voice, and went back inside to pick up spare socks, underpants, another shirt and a toothbrush. 

Probation officer #44: Fast food and slow drugs

Oh, what happened when I dropped in on Rodriguez? I’ll tell you later. Maybe.

50 shadesBut on Wednesday Ana came to her session, wearing the corporate clothes of a Chickin Lickin customer service operative. There were black pants with a crease, and a blue cotton shirt. The pants looked scratchily uncomfortable, and if Madrid is the sexiest city in the world, then those pants were from Christchurch, New Zealand, the Antipodes of Sex. They were tight on her ass and the seam disappeared up her bumcrack, and they still managed to be unflattering.

Until she worked out a way to get changed before our sessions, I figured, the game of sexually torturing her probation officer would be suspended.

She gave me a hug once we were in the interview room. The door was ajar, but there was enough privacy for that. She had none of her usual jigging, electrical energy. I sat her opposite me, and kicked off by asking her how her course was going. She said it was fine. Work turned out to be fine, too.

I remembered her at the party, buzzing warmly, in love with everyone and everything, and ready to fuck, oh, quite a wide range of people, including her probation officer. I said, “How was Manaia?” She looked at me, startled. “I mean, how is he?”

“Ah, he’s fine. I haven’t seen him since Sunday. And he was all right. I guess.” She looked at me and frowned. I wondered if she remembered that we’d come very close to fucking that night. And that when Manaia had turned up I’d practically thrown him at her. But she looked down at her knees. If she remembered that part of Saturday night, she gave no sign of it. “Actually, I feel shit. I just feel like I’ve fucked everything up. My whole stupid life.”

Fast food girl

Fast food girl

“You’ve got a job. It sucks, as jobs go, but it’s a start. And they give you money just for being there. You’ll get a better one, so cheer up. And you’re going to finish school. You bloody well will finish, or …” I couldn’t see any way that that sentence would end well, so I left it.

“Yeah, I guess. It just doesn’t feel, ah. It’s just all bullshit. I feel like, who cares, you know?”

“Hang on. Ana, have you done eccy before?”

“Oh, no. Dad wouldn’t let me.” 

I blinked, just a little surprised.

Probation officer #42: Hard cases, bad law

Chrysothemis finished her song and burst into tears – which she did beautifully; it was Clare Watson from the Solti recording – and I took the recording off before Clytemnestra turns up. I put on Don Giovanni instead, just the tracks with Zerlina. I’ll explain why some other time. And I made another cup of tea.

Ana’s probation sessions with me were on Wednesday afternoons. Unless she came in early, and I thought she probably wouldn’t, I wouldn’t see her for another three days. In the meantime I had other clients. There was a woman who’d tried to hold up a chemist with a syringe of her blood. She needed subsidised housing if she was to have any chance of getting her children back from foster care. She was off drugs, and she was probably a better bet for her two children than foster care, where the kids were miserable. Their life would only be marginally better with their mother, as far as I could tell. But margins were all she and they had.

There was Rodriguez, who had a soft, humorous manner and the saddest, gentlest, wisest eyes I’d ever seen. It was impossible to spend time with him and not like him. But Rodriguez had been at a party where he was nearest to the man who happened to announce that the beer keg was empty. He’d beaten that man almost to death, and then used the top strand of a barbed wire fence to slash his stomach open. He’d left the man broken, draped over the wire fence. Somehow the man had survived, so that Rodriguez wasn’t a murderer.

I still have no idea, no clue, no insight, no guess, into why that apparently gentle man had done that horrible thing. Rodriguez had served his prison time for it. I’d recommended that as a condition of his release he have to do anger management courses, and that had been accepted. I didn’t think anger management courses addressed whatever the hell had happened, but no-one, including me, could think of anything better. He’d skipped his course last week. If he skipped this week he’d go back to jail. So on Monday I’d have to find him and talk to him.

The Knight's Dream - Richard Mauch.

A man holding his lance, though he’s not doing the flashing. The painting is The Knight’s Dream, by Richard Mauch.

And there was Lance. The flasher with the ridiculous name: Lance Holder. (The names I give in this blog are never real names. Lance’s real name was a ridiculous name for a flasher to sport, but it wasn’t Lance Holder. Or Dick Wagger. But you get the idea.) Maybe because of the comedy name and the fact that he seemed to be physically weak and extremely timid, I wasn’t yet as worried about Lance as I should have been.

I’d heard, not through legal channels but through friends, that he’d been seen masturbating out in farmland, well out of town. I’d have to confront him, and find out what was happening in his head.

girlsSo that’s what I thought about once Sa’afia left. When I’d had dinner, and got everything ready for the working week, I went back to bed. I needed an early night’s sleep.

In bed, drifting to sleep, I thought about Sa’afia’s breasts. And then Ana’s ass. And then every centimetre of both of them. I dreamed about them too. Sometimes dreams are kind.