There was a moment, while the girl was getting her breath back after I’d pulled my cock out of her throat, in which I had a half-witted thought: “She choked on my cock? Just my cock? Amazing! I must be enormous.” So doms can be idiots, or at least I can. 

How may this cutaway diagram serve you, Master?

The choking incident surprised me, though. I’ve never had anything like that happen before. Not even when I’m being deep-throated. I didn’t really think it was possible. 

It must have been the angle. I was standing while she knelt, and I was thrusting down into her throat. That somehow blocked her oesophagus and the trachea at once. It was the angle more than the depth: she wasn’t deep-throating when it happened. 

Anyway, choking on a cock, or choking a girl with your cock, is easier than you might think. 

So I pushed her down onto the bed, spread and lifted her thighs, and did her. She enjoyed this, but she wasn’t reacting with the enthusiasm I’d hoped for. She wasn’t happy yet, or relaxed. 

I was still seeking her forgiveness, and that was what I was doing wrong. It put her in charge, where she didn’t want to be. So I kissed her cunt goodbye, for now, and rolled onto my back. pulling her with me.

We finished with her face down across my lap. There was her ass, right where my hand was.  I smacked it, medium hard. 

After a dozen spanks her body relaxed, but she was still frowning. I whispered, “no, this is a good girl spanking. You’ve been good. But it’s going to hurt you.” She nodded. The frown was gone.

There were no more judgements, and everything was right. I spanked her for about half an hour, while she sighed, and occasionally cried out, and wiggled happily. Then all was well. 

So she and I are holding each other, after she had her breath back, but things are wrong.

I’m supposed to be in charge. Things are right when I judge her conduct, and decide whether she needs reward or punishment, and decide when she’s forgiven. She likes to be a little afraid of me, when I judge her. She’s proud that discipline, for her, is very strict. I don’t let disobedience slip, and when I cane her, I cane hard. Though the pain turns her on, my little masochist, she still fears it.

But it’s sexy and fun fearing me because I’m in charge. Being afraid because I’m choking her and I don’t even realise: that’s not fun. So at this moment I’m judging myself, not her, and I’m not impressed.

She knew I felt bad, and tried to reassure me. And though that was nice and I appreciated it, I didn’t want her to feel that she had to look after me.

So, I decided, I’d drag her to bed and apply the kiss of life to her cunt. That should cheer her up. 

I was still half hard, so there was a sense in which my cock felt weightier, more substantial, than if i’d been fully erect. An erect cock has no weight; it’s self-supporting, and although it has mass it bobs about like a balloon. I felt good, and comfortable, sliding down her throat, knowing that she’d feel me growing fully hard in her mouth, and that this would turn her on.

But after perhaps a minute she made to pull back. She’d done that the previous time she’d sucked my cock. Her jaw got tired, and she sometimes tried to rest and take a little less of me . But I wasn’t in the mood to allow her to be half-hearted, so I tightened my grip on her hair, pulled her mouth forward, and thrust deeper. Then, sighing happily, I started to move gently, fucking her mouth.

This happened twice more over the next couple of minutes, and the second time I took my belt off, enjoying the recognition in her eyes at that gesture, and gave her bottom six smart whacks. Then I put the belt round the back of her neck, and used it to keep her serving, unable to back away. 

I was sure that she was feeling properly controlled. But then she made a gesture I hadn’t seen before. She held her hands up in the air, half-closed, her wrists flapping. I watched. It seemed very feminine, and very helpless. 

Only then, at last, the light went on in my brain, and I pulled out of her mouth quickly. She sucked in air. Oh, I realised, far too late; she couldn’t breath.  

I’d never choked a woman before, in fellatio or in any other way. I don’t like breath play. I don’t like the risk, and I don’t like the symbolism of it.

So I helped her up. I kissed her. I apologised. I told her how I’d misread the way she’d tried to pull back. She said she’d known why I’d done that. In our previous session, I’d let her rest her jaw when she sucked my cock, but I’d told her that next time I wouldn’t be so lenient. I’d said that she had to focus on my pleasure and not her comfort. So she knew what I thought was happening. 

I said if anything like that happened again, where she couldn’t speak, then she should just hit the side of my knee. That’d count as a safe word. I apologised for not having thought of that before. 

So she was in my arms, and holding me back while I held her. I was forgiven, more or less. But I’d frightened her, and there were tears in her eyes. 

A woman came to visit me. I’d given her instructions about what she had to do, once she’d knocked on my door.  

My neighbourhood is the sort of place where no-one is likely to notice a woman undress at someone’s front door and wait naked on her knees to be invited in. There aren’t many people around. And if someone did notice they’d be neither shocked nor dangerous. I live in the country, but the people around here tend to be  artists/writers/musicians, etc, rather than farmers. 

Although no-one would see my naked, kneeling girl,her or care if they did, I hurried when I heard her knock. I wanted her. There was lust between us. Just thinking of my name made her wet. I knew that because she told me, and I knew it was true because it only took her name, or the thought of any detail of her body or how she moved or spoke, to make me hard.

So I answered the door, and although she lowered her head to kiss my shoes, which I usually liked to watch, I grabbed a swatch of her hair and pulled her up so she could take my cock in her mouth.