Governing the Gang Girl 4

This excellent and very sexy book is aiming to be on sale through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, 24symbols, and tolino. It is already being sold through Rakuten Kobo, Angus and Robinson, and Vivlio. To purchase through your favoured seller, go here.

So the free version on my site is no longer available. Here’s a quick guide to what it’s about.

Charmayanne and Jack meet for the first time in her kitchen. They find that the heat between them builds and builds, and their sexual games become steadily more complex and exciting…

Troubled young Charmayanne Else is a former member of a violent gang, though she got out when her conscience and her commonsense woke up again. 

She agrees to be interviewed about her experiences by journalist Jack Molay. But the interview becomes a mutual seduction when they discover that though they have little in common, they’re attracted to each other.

And soon after that, they realise that Jack is a Dom, and Charmayanne is submissive.

She is aware that she has done some very bad things, and she has some atoning to do.

And only after she has fully paid, with Jack’s willing help, can she begin the process of forgiving herself.  

With the help of a ruler and an old razor strop from her mother’s farm, and Jack’s guiding hand, that atonement begins… 

 

And here’s a sample:

From: Governing the Gang Girl 1: The Heat in the Kitchen

Charmayanne’s gesture was like a captured soldier in an old war film. She held her arms straight up, palms upwards. A show of surrender, that was partly comic, but also real.

Charmayanne was being obedient. Not by accident. Not ambiguously. This time she looked at me. Her belly showed palely, as the jersey’s hem was lifted by her arms. I still had my fingers wetly, warmly held inside her. Her face was expressionless, carefully so.

In a sense rather wider than I’d asked, she’d surrendered. I wondered if she’d bitten me, seconds before her surrender, so that I’d punish her for it. Maybe she’d been angry with me for making her want to surrender. But her motives didn’t matter anymore. Charmayanne waited, arms up.

That moment of give, of decided submission, is the best thing I know. It’s like the moving, clashing and realignment of tectonic plates. It seems to happen very slowly, so you have time to watch every expression, and every hesitation or tremor or decision in the submissive’s voice. And then it moves, and that moment shakes the earth. The world is never the same again.

Charmayanne had given me her submission, and therefore herself, without any more protest. Except for biting my neck and calling me a bastard, which is quite a lot of protest, really. Still, the atmosphere in that kitchen had changed. Grandly and perhaps irrevocably.

Charmayanne stood, jeans and panties halfway down her thighs and her arms held up in a gesture that meant surrender. It also meant I should remove her jersey, which was all she was wearing above the waist. Actually it was all she was wearing above her mid-thighs, where her jeans and panties had gathered, abandoned. 

I looked at her and nodded interrogatively, eyebrows raised. “You’re sure?” 

It was a last chance to back out. Charmayanne nodded back, eyes down.

So that sealed it. 

 

 

“This is beautifully written erotica, incredibly hot, about people who feel like real, three-dimensional people. Some bdsm events are harsh, but the atmosphere is always loving. JJ Mortimer turns human details and erotic details into pure steamy sexiness. Reading it is like being there, on a wonderful sensual ride!”

Isadora D Hawkins, reviewer.

Governing the Gang Girl 3

This excellent and very sexy book is aiming to be on sale through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, 24symbols, and tolino. It is already being sold through Rakuten Kobo, Angus and Robinson, and Vivlio. To purchase through your favoured seller, go here.

So the free version on my site is no longer available. Here’s a quick guide to what it’s about.

Charmayanne and Jack meet for the first time in her kitchen. They find that the heat between them builds and builds, and their sexual games become steadily more complex and exciting…

Troubled young Charmayanne Else is a former member of a violent gang, though she got out when her conscience and her commonsense woke up again. 

She agrees to be interviewed about her experiences by journalist Jack Molay. But the interview becomes a mutual seduction when they discover that though they have little in common, they’re attracted to each other. And soon after that, they realise that Jack is a Dom, and Charmayanne is submissive.

She is aware that she has done some very bad things, and she has some atoning to do. And only after she has fully paid, with Jack’s willing help, can she begin the process of forgiving herself.  

With the help of a ruler and an old razor strop from her mother’s farm, and Jack’s guiding hand, that atonement begins… 

 

And here’s a sample:

From: Governing the Gang Girl 1: The Heat in the Kitchen

Charmayanne’s gesture was like a captured soldier in an old war film. She held her arms straight up, palms upwards. A show of surrender, that was partly comic, but also real.

Charmayanne was being obedient. Not by accident. Not ambiguously. This time she looked at me. Her belly showed palely, as the jersey’s hem was lifted by her arms. I still had my fingers wetly, warmly held inside her. Her face was expressionless, carefully so.

In a sense rather wider than I’d asked, she’d surrendered. I wondered if she’d bitten me, seconds before her surrender, so that I’d punish her for it. Maybe she’d been angry with me for making her want to surrender. But her motives didn’t matter anymore. Charmayanne waited, arms up.

That moment of give, of decided submission, is the best thing I know. It’s like the moving, clashing and realignment of tectonic plates. It seems to happen very slowly, so you have time to watch every expression, and every hesitation or tremor or decision in the submissive’s voice. And then it moves, and that moment shakes the earth. The world is never the same again.

Charmayanne had given me her submission, and therefore herself, without any more protest. Except for biting my neck and calling me a bastard, which is quite a lot of protest, really. Still, the atmosphere in that kitchen had changed. Grandly and perhaps irrevocably.

Charmayanne stood, jeans and panties halfway down her thighs and her arms held up in a gesture that meant surrender. It also meant I should remove her jersey, which was all she was wearing above the waist. Actually it was all she was wearing above her mid-thighs, where her jeans and panties had gathered, abandoned. 

I looked at her and nodded interrogatively, eyebrows raised. “You’re sure?” 

It was a last chance to back out. Charmayanne nodded back, eyes down.

So that sealed it. 

 

 

“This is beautifully written erotica, incredibly hot, about people who feel like real, three-dimensional people. Some bdsm events are harsh, but the atmosphere is always loving. JJ Mortimer turns human details and erotic details into pure steamy sexiness. Reading it is like being there, on a wonderful sensual ride!”

Isadora D Hawkins, reviewer.

Governing the Gang Girl 2

This excellent and very sexy book is aiming to be on sale through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, 24symbols, and tolino. It is already being sold through Rakuten Kobo, Angus and Robinson, and Vivlio. To purchase through your favoured seller, go here.

So the free version on my site is no longer available. Here’s a quick guide to what it’s about.

Charmayanne and Jack meet for the first time in her kitchen. They find that the heat between them builds and builds, and their sexual games become steadily more complex and exciting…

Troubled young Charmayanne Else is a former member of a violent gang, though she got out when her conscience and her commonsense woke up again. 

She agrees to be interviewed about her experiences by journalist Jack Molay. But the interview becomes a mutual seduction when they discover that though they have little in common, they’re attracted to each other. And soon after that, they realise that Jack is a Dom, and Charmayanne is submissive.

She is aware that she has done some very bad things, and she has some atoning to do. And only after she has fully paid, with Jack’s willing help, can she begin the process of forgiving herself.  

With the help of a ruler and an old razor strop from her mother’s farm, and Jack’s guiding hand, that atonement begins… 

 

And here’s a sample:

From: Governing the Gang Girl 1: The Heat in the Kitchen

Charmayanne’s gesture was like a captured soldier in an old war film. She held her arms straight up, palms upwards. A show of surrender, that was partly comic, but also real.

Charmayanne was being obedient. Not by accident. Not ambiguously. This time she looked at me. Her belly showed palely, as the jersey’s hem was lifted by her arms. I still had my fingers wetly, warmly held inside her. Her face was expressionless, carefully so.

In a sense rather wider than I’d asked, she’d surrendered. I wondered if she’d bitten me, seconds before her surrender, so that I’d punish her for it. Maybe she’d been angry with me for making her want to surrender. But her motives didn’t matter anymore. Charmayanne waited, arms up.

That moment of give, of decided submission, is the best thing I know. It’s like the moving, clashing and realignment of tectonic plates. It seems to happen very slowly, so you have time to watch every expression, and every hesitation or tremor or decision in the submissive’s voice. And then it moves, and that moment shakes the earth. The world is never the same again.

Charmayanne had given me her submission, and therefore herself, without any more protest. Except for biting my neck and calling me a bastard, which is quite a lot of protest, really. Still, the atmosphere in that kitchen had changed. Grandly and perhaps irrevocably.

Charmayanne stood, jeans and panties halfway down her thighs and her arms held up in a gesture that meant surrender. It also meant I should remove her jersey, which was all she was wearing above the waist. Actually it was all she was wearing above her mid-thighs, where her jeans and panties had gathered, abandoned. 

I looked at her and nodded interrogatively, eyebrows raised. “You’re sure?” 

It was a last chance to back out. Charmayanne nodded back, eyes down.

So that sealed it. 

 

 

“This is beautifully written erotica, incredibly hot, about people who feel like real, three-dimensional men and women. Some of the bdsm events are painful, but the atmosphere is always loving. JJ Mortimer turns human details and erotic details into pure steamy sexiness. Reading it is like being there, on a wonderful sensual ride!”

Isadora D Hawkins, reviewer.

Governing the Gang Girl 1

This excellent and very sexy book is aiming to be on sale through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, 24symbols, and tolino. It is already being sold through Rakuten Kobo, Angus and Robinson, and Vivlio. To purchase through your favoured seller, go here.

So the free version on my site is no longer available. Here’s a quick guide to what it’s about.

Charmayanne and Jack meet for the first time in her kitchen. They find that the heat between them builds and builds, and their sexual games become steadily more complex and exciting…

Troubled young Charmayanne Else is a former member of a violent gang, though she got out when her conscience and her commonsense woke up again. 

She agrees to be interviewed about her experiences by journalist Jack Molay. But the interview becomes a mutual seduction when they discover that though they have little in common, they’re attracted to each other. And soon after that, they realise that Jack is a Dom, and Charmayanne is submissive.

She is aware that she has done some very bad things, and she has some atoning to do. And only after she has fully paid, with Jack’s willing help, can she begin the process of forgiving herself.  

With the help of a ruler and an old razor strop from her mother’s farm, and Jack’s guiding hand, that atonement begins… 

 

And here’s a sample:

From: Governing the Gang Girl 1: The Heat in the Kitchen

Charmayanne’s gesture was like a captured soldier in an old war film. She held her arms straight up, palms upwards. A show of surrender, that was partly comic, but also real.

Charmayanne was being obedient. Not by accident. Not ambiguously. This time she looked at me. Her belly showed palely, as the jersey’s hem was lifted by her arms. I still had my fingers wetly, warmly held inside her. Her face was expressionless, carefully so.

In a sense rather wider than I’d asked, she’d surrendered. I wondered if she’d bitten me, seconds before her surrender, so that I’d punish her for it. Maybe she’d been angry with me for making her want to surrender. But her motives didn’t matter anymore. Charmayanne waited, arms up.

That moment of give, of decided submission, is the best thing I know. It’s like the moving, clashing and realignment of tectonic plates. It seems to happen very slowly, so you have time to watch every expression, and every hesitation or tremor or decision in the submissive’s voice. And then it moves, and that moment shakes the earth. The world is never the same again.

Charmayanne had given me her submission, and therefore herself, without any more protest. Except for biting my neck and calling me a bastard, which is quite a lot of protest, really. Still, the atmosphere in that kitchen had changed. Grandly and perhaps irrevocably.

Charmayanne stood, jeans and panties halfway down her thighs and her arms held up in a gesture that meant surrender. It also meant I should remove her jersey, which was all she was wearing above the waist. Actually it was all she was wearing above her mid-thighs, where her jeans and panties had gathered, abandoned. 

I looked at her and nodded interrogatively, eyebrows raised. “You’re sure?” 

It was a last chance to back out. Charmayanne nodded back, eyes down.

So that sealed it. 

 

 

“This is beautifully written erotica, incredibly hot, about people who feel like real, three-dimensional people. Some bdsm events are harsh, but the atmosphere is always loving. JJ Mortimer turns human details and erotic details into pure steamy sexiness. Reading it is like being there, on a wonderful sensual ride!”

Isadora D Hawkins, reviewer.

Jian Ghomeshi, safe-words, face-hitting and choking

Jian Ghomeshi, radio guy, alleged puncher and choker of women. Bdsm martyr? No thanks, says bdsm community.

Jian Ghomeshi, radio guy, alleged non-consensual puncher and choker of women. Bdsm martyr? No thanks.

There’s a guy, Jian Ghomeshi.

He was a Canadian radio host. Apparently he was good at that. But he just got sacked because a number of women (that number’s 8, right now) made allegations against him of non-consensual violence (face-hitting, choking, and some stuff that sounds kind of rape-y).

He responded by claiming he was into bdsm and it was consensual.

He wants to present himself as a martyr, sacked for his consensual sexual kink, and the bdsm community is not exactly thrilled, or feeling like cooperating.

Try, for example, Yingtai’s blog, which you should be reading anyway: http://abjectsub.com/jian-ghomeshi-scum-of-the-earth/ 

Jian Ghomeshi and safe words

Ghomeshi said there were agreed safe words; the women who’ve accused him say there weren’t. That’s not “he said/she said”: that’s multiple reports, so I don’t believe Ghomeshi. 

But it opens up a wider issue, which is what a dom should do when a submissive indicates she’s not happy without using a safe word. I’ve been told by submissives about guys calling themselves doms who won’t stop unless she uses the exact agreed word: 

Tied submissive: No, I really don’t like this. STOP NOW!

Fuckwitted, criminal, dom: That’s not your safe word! (WHACK!)

When a dom and sub are new to each other, then things like “stop”, and “please no”, and so on, really are safe words, because a submissive can always forget their “agreed” safe word in the heat of the moment.

If crying out, “please, no! I can’t take it!” was theatre and the sub’s really ok, then the scene can continue.

For me, though, if a submissive wants the fun of screaming and begging me to stop, secure in the knowledge that I won’t stop (unless she uses the real word), I’d rather she let me know that beforehand. Though you can tell a lot by tone of voice anyway. 

Later, a dom can be less formally careful, because he or she knows more about the sub’s limits and reactions. If I’m punishing a submissive, for real, in a long-term relationship, I might say that there’s no safeword and I’ll decide when she’s had enough. That’s the rhetoric: the reality is that I watch carefully to make sure she’s okay and handling it.

Tears count as part of “okay”. Panic is not okay. Shutting down is complicated. If it’s because she’s quietly going floaty into subspace that’s fine; if it’s, “the world is terrible and I am not in my body; I’m not here at all”, that’s not fine. Flying (apparently) without safewords is only possible if you know each other, and if the dom is ready to check whenever there’s doubt about the submissive’s state of mind.  

When the dom and sub don’t know each other thoroughly they can still have a strong experience, with safewords, and without having to use them.

Ambiguity about safewords is for when the relationship has lasted a while and communication between two adults who know each other well can be more subtle. 

Which is another part of why I don’t believe Jian Ghomeshi’s story. If he was starting bdsm relationships with those women, with their agreement, there wouldn’t be any confusion over whether there were safewords or not. 

Choking 

Some of the women have said that Ghomeshi started hitting them in the face with a closed fist, and choking them, without consent. 

I don’t believe that you start a bdsm relationship with face-hitting and choking, unless you’ve done some serious discussion beforehand. Which it’s clear hadn’t happened.

Face-smacking and choking are big on the internet, and I think that’s why Ghomeshi started there. Maybe he imagined it’d be a nice surprise.

I don’t think they’re especially big with submissive women. Some like them, but they’ve come up as a hard limit with a lot of submissives I’ve communicated with. “No cutting or blood, no scat, no hitting my face, no choking.”

Seriously, this stuff is fragile.

Seriously, this stuff is fragile.

Personally I don’t do throat choking, not even if I’m asked for it. If a submissive said she wanted breath play, I can hold my palm over her mouth and pinch her nose, or push her face into a pillow for a few seconds at a time.

But seizing and squeezing the throat: I’ve been a nurse (psychiatric, but still a nurse), and I simply Will Not Do That.

Of course there are safe-ish ways to constrict the throat, or there’d be corpses littering the floors of bdsm porn studios everywhere. I’m not condemning those who enjoy it, and take the time to learn to do it safe-ishly. But to me, it’s too damn dangerous.

Face-hitting 

Face-slapping can be a good way of shocking a submissive and “dropping” her, but a dom has to be confident that the sub knows him/her well, and feels bedrock secure that the dom likes her a lot, and the dom has never been angry with her or disliked her. Because it feels much closer to domestic violence, for a lot of women, than to sexy kinkiness.

There I’m talking about slapping with an open palm; that’s emotionally risky, but you can do it, lightly but still shockingly, without risking physical damage. But punching a woman’s face? That’s physically dangerous. There’s lots of breakable, fragile stuff in the head. I don’t believe that Ghomeshi had consent for it. And for me, I couldn’t do it even if I were asked. Don’t like the risk; don’t like the symbolism, either.

So it’s not the first bdsm thing you’d do, unless the submissive specifically said, “Nah, getting spanked or tied up or having to serve bores me: just punch my face and choke me, that’s all I want.”

And I’ve never met a submissive who’s said that. I’m pretty sure Jian Ghomeshi hasn’t either.

Bonobo farewell

Mixed-sex-party-of-bonobos-females-in-centreI’ve been working for money, and blogging at the same time. So today I’m out of words.

Here’s a picture of bonobos being happy. I’m having a slightly miserable time of it at the moment. Your blogger is sad. But contemplating those guys cheers me up a lot. I hope it works for you, too. 

I like bonobos a lot, but I won’t be writing about them again for a while. I feel like writing something sexy, and about humans. 

Where does bdsm come from? Other species

Hot primate spanking action.

Hot primate spanking action.

We know that submission postures and the reddening of the genitals and buttocks are common to chimps, bonobos and humans. In humans the submissive presentation posture is a universally recognized sexual signal.

Strong sexual appreciation of a reddened ass, on the other hand, seems to be specific to bdsm.

We know that that red sexual display died out in our hominid ancestors some time before we homo sapiens sapiens turned up, but we really don’t know when.

The fossil record is a long way from complete, and fossils mean bones, not flesh. Flesh decays, so we don’t know what our ancestors’ asses were like.

Presumably that red-hot perineum flush would have started to be less important in reproduction, and slowly die out, some time after our ancestors took up walking while standing up.

When you’re on your hind legs, your ass isn’t as prominent as it is when you’re on all fours, so a reddened ass is less effective as a sexual signal, and over time it will stop being selected for. But we don’t know when that was.

But it’s very likely that the importance of submissive display positions in primates is one of the reasons they still work so powerfully in bdsm. The reddened ass theory is more speculative, but it’s at least plausible.  

There’s something else we can take into account.

That guy, he really wants dimmer lights and a gold chain.

That guy, he really wants dimmer lights and a gold chain.

Meredith Small, in her book, Female Choices: Sexual Behaviour of Female Primates, argued that male primatologists had often failed to observe what female primates were doing. 

They interpreted primate sexual behaviour in terms of competition to be an alpha male, with the assumption that the alpha male had his pick of all the ladeeze.

It took women primatologists to see that female primates were initiating a lot of the sex, and that they, not some phalanx of alpha males, were choosing their partners. And they weren’t necessarily choosing the alpha males.

She argued for a kind of imaginative empathy. Female primatologists may be more likely to notice and interpret female primate behaviours that male primatologists have overlooked, because they are female.

My suspicion is that people who are attuned to bdsm, who’ve experienced it and take pleasure from it, may have some intuitive access to the experience of the primate submission ritual, that primatologists who haven’t experienced bdsm won’t have. 

When chimps and bonobos are in conflict, getting close to a fight, and one of them assumes a submissive sexual position, the other primate may drop the aggression, and mounts the submissive. They rub genitals, and sometimes have sex.

Most primatologists have written that as if it’s a win-lose encounter. At least the submissive doesn’t get bashed up, but he or she is humiliated and defeated. 

The rewards for the dominant primate who “wins” the exchange are the most obvious: there aren’t many of us primates who don’t enjoy triumph, power, sexual access, and so on.

But the submissive primate is also rewarded: fear turns to relief, anger turns to sex, and conflict, through the mounting, turns to connection, with the associated pleasure of sexual surrender – a pleasure that seems to be enjoyed by many animals as well as humans.

Both primates are highly aroused by the time their pre-fight postures change to sexual postures. The submission allows them both to channel that arousal into sex. The sexual presentation, the mounting, the thrusts, of primates aren;’t just symbolically “like” sex. They are sex. 

That position, and its aftermath. Fight or fuck? No contest.

That position, and its aftermath. Fight or fuck? No contest.

Chimps and bonobos are highly sexed, and they enjoy a wide range of activities among their own and the opposite sex. So do we, only more so. They, or rather we, are all polymorphously perverse.

 There’s a reason this bdsm-like behaviour, and pleasure, can survive and pass its way down to modern humans. 

Primates who have the ability to turn conflict arousal into sexual arousal are likely to pass on their genes. If they can end a conflict with a dominance and submission ritual rather than a fight until one or both primates are severely injured, they will live longer and have more chances to pass on their genes.

Another factor is that primates with that ability are sexier: their sexual repertoire is slightly wider, and so they are likely to mate slightly more often. Throw in a couple of million years, and that will make a difference. Regardless of the mechanism by which it’s transmitted, that is, whatever the mix of genetic and “cultural” factors, the ability to sexualise dominance and submission seems to be part of our primate inheritance.

And, purely from the random chance of the DNA lottery, it seems that some humans have that trait more than others. So, is this one of the reasons bdsm exists in humans? It’s not certain, but it’s very probable.

What do we know about where bdsm comes from? 5 Other species

Our closest relatives, chimps and bonobos, get seriously sexually interested when they see a submissive posture, and especially the sight of a red, hot ass, presented for their attention. In human bdsm, many doms feel the same way about the heat and colour of a disciplined submissive’s ass. So, is some of the force of our sexual response linked to our common hominid ancestry?

This is Vanessa Woods, a primatologist who's lived with bonobos and contributed a lot to our knowledge of their social structures. She's not responsible at all for suggesting a connection between bonobos and bdsm.

This is Vanessa Woods, a primatologist who’s lived with bonobos and contributed a lot to our knowledge of their social structures. She’s not responsible at all for suggesting a connection between bonobos and bdsm.

It’s certainly true that we’re closely related to chimps and bonobos. We evolved from the same ancestors, until the family branch split into homo, which is us, and pan, which is them, about 4 to 6 million years ago. That isn’t as long in evolutionary terms as it is when you’re waiting for a bus. We share about 95% of our DNA with our cousins.  

It’s not just genetics. We have quite a few things in common with them that are, in a sense, cultural, including lots of the ways we show affection, the way we do violence (I mean, like two guys getting angry, not mechanised warfare), and quite a lot about the way we do sex. So it’s completely plausible that we, or some of us, are still in thrall to that ancestral sexual signal. 

But we’re different from chimps and bonobos in two important ways. First, we don’t have a strong sexual cycle like them: chimp and bonobo females mostly only mate when they’re at the peak of their monthly reproductive cycle, so they need to signal when they’re most interested in fucking. Human women can fuck any time. No signal is needed, so it won’t be selected for. 

Second, we walk upright. A sexual signal that works best when the ass is the highest and most prominent point of the body doesn’t work so well when you’re standing. So we humans don’t have that signal.

That’s not the end of the argument, but it’s awkward for the case I’m trying to build. 

But I've also run her pic because I'm a fan; read her book, think she's brilliant, and so on. And, like so many women primatologists, she's gorgeous.

But I’ve also run her pic because I’m a fan; I’ve read her book, think she’s brilliant, ridiculously brave, and so on. And, like so many women primatologists, she’s gorgeous.

It’d be nice, really nice, if we knew how recently our ancestors lost that bright red sexual signal. Our ancestors probably had it, say, four million years ago, when we were still separating from chimps and bonobos.

But that’s all we’ll ever know.

We can look at our ancestors’ bones, but sadly, one thing that doesn’t fossilise is asses. All the hominid asses, the ones before homo sapiens sapiens, have rotted away and been eaten by worms, and we’ll never know a damn thing about them. 

But we can make some guesses, some of which don’t seem to be completely stupid, and make the best use of the evidence we do have. That’s tomorrow. 

What do we know about where bdsm comes from? 4 Other species

As far as I’ve been able to find, the first person to suggest a connection between the reddening of human buttocks by whipping, and the red sexual swellings of chimps and bonobos, was Alex Comfort.

Bonobos would recognise that sexual presentation posture. This girl's pose happens to be part of a bdsm scenario, but the pose is a sexual signal - for humans who like women - far beyond the bdsm world.

Bonobos would recognise that sexual presentation posture. This girl’s pose happens to be part of a bdsm scenario, but the pose is a sexual signal – for humans who like women – far beyond the bdsm world.

In his book, Nature and Human Nature, he wrote, “mammalian residues still persist in human sexuality, and we may underrate them. Blushing, and the interest of some individuals in the reddening of the buttocks caused by whipping, may contain echoes of the ‘releaser’ sex skin of lower primates.”

That was back in 1966, before Comfort went on to fame and fortune as the author of The Joy of Sex

Comfort’s idea got taken up in another bestseller, Desmond Morris’s The Naked Ape (1969). 

Rump presentation again, but with a cane-striped ass. People who aren't into bdsm are likely to think the poor girl has been treated cruelly, and pity and shock will override sex. While people who like bdsm are likely to think that the reddening makes her even sexier. So the reddened ass thing isn't a universal human sexual response; it's one that's specific to some of us who like bdsm.

Rump presentation again, but with a cane-striped ass. People who aren’t into bdsm are likely to think the poor girl has been treated cruelly, and pity and shock will override sex. People who like bdsm are likely to think that the reddening makes her even sexier. So the reddened ass thing isn’t a universal human sexual response; it’s specific to some of us who like bdsm.

“The female sexual rump-presentation posture also occurs in humans,” Morris wrote. “It is there in corporal punishment, with rhythmic whipping replacing the rhythmic pelvic thrusts of the dominant male.”

He added that victims have their buttocks bared for punishment, not to increase the pain, but to allow the dom “to witness the reddening of the buttocks as the beating proceeds, which so vividly recalls the flushing of the primate female hindquarters when in full sexual condition.”

He thought corporal punishment in schools would end once teachers “fully appreciated the fact that, in reality, they were performing an ancient primate form of copulation with their pupils.”

But … that was fifty years ago. By now we should have gone beyond a bit of idle speculation by a pair of hippy-influenced primatologists*, shouldn’t we?

Well, we haven’t. 

The claim is this. We doms, at least those of us who like to mark our submissives with impact play, get many different rewards and pleasures from admiring and fucking our submissives, usually from behind, after a beating.

One of those rewards is genetically hard-wired. Our immediate primate ancestors, like our cousins the chimps and bonobos, reacted to reddened, swollen, warmed asses with very strong sexual interest and arousal. That’s part of our heritage, through some mix of genetic and cultural factors, from our primate ancestry. It’s one of the reasons for our strong sexual reaction to the sight and feel of a freshly disciplined submissive. 

Tomorrow I’m going to talk about what we need to know, in order to assess whether the claim is true. (And why we can’t find it.) 

 

* Yeah, I know Comfort wrote on primatology but his main field was medicine. I just don’t want to write “a hippy-influenced doctor and a hippy-influenced primatologist”.  Don’t rain on my phrases, ok?

What do we know about where bdsm comes from? 3 Other species

There’s a connection, or an alleged connection, between the reddened ass of a freshly-disciplined submissive, and the strong sexual response of doms to that reddened, swollen sexual area, and the bright red, blood-swollen perineal swellings in bonobo and chimp females.

This is a young bonobo female up in a tree. (Male bonobos looking up at her ass not shown.)

This is a young bonobo female up in a tree, flashing her perineal swelling. (Male bonobos looking up at her ass not shown.)

“Perineal” means that lovely, sexually sensitive skin from the vagina to the anus. When it swells up in bonobos and chimps, it becomes extremely, er, noticeable. 

Fact is, if bonobos could speak, they still wouldn’t have a word for “decorum”. 

So the idea is that we doms, at least those of us with a taste for a freshly-disciplined girl or boy, are drawing on some powerfully atavistic urges from way back in our evolutionary ancestry. 

In chimps and bonobos that swelling occurs at oestrus, the point in the menstrual cycle when the female is most likely to reproduce and to want to do a lot of fucking. 

That red and swollen genital and buttock signal, that the female is receptive and interested, gets an extremely strong reaction from the males in the troupe. They’ll hang around her, trying for any sexual opportunity they can get. They’ll fight over her, or – if they think they’d lose a fight – they’ll wait until the dominant male is distracted, and nip in for a quick fuck before he notices.

By the way, her strategy isn’t to mate with the most dominant male. Her strategy is to get a lot of fucking done, with lots of males. The males who fuck her feel good about her, which is handy for getting food and protection and so on, and when she gives birth they’ll be unlikely to kill the offspring. Since it might be theirs.

(By the way, almost everything people say when they use terms like “alpha male” is complete, utter, abject bullshit. Especially if they apply those terms to humans, and especially in the highest, forever and ever, if they apply those terms to themselves. The only exception is the first sentence of this paragraph.)

Some sort of sexual signal here. I think.

Spanked girl with her ass up. There’s some sort of sexual signalling going on here. I think.

Humans are different from our chimp and bonobo cousins, though. Human girls don’t get that red ass thing.

Yeah, you’re thinking, “Ah-hah! Except for submissive girls who’ve been bad, and submissive boys, too.” You’re way ahead of me, but there’s more to be said about this. For example, “is this theory actually true?” 

Well, we’ll have to get to that tomorrow. Tune in!