I’ve just been mountain-climbing. I owe myself a hot bath. Actually, I owe it to people a block away to have a bath. There was a lot of climbing, a lot of mud, a lot of sweat, and some blood. My boots are filthy. Every single thing I’m wearing smells like old socks. 

I’ve been thinking that lovers become very intuitively aware of what the other person is feeling, in sex. There are times, in non-bdsm fucking, where it becomes so intense that I not only know exactly how each movement feels to me, but I also know how it feels to her. It’s like I know what’s it’s like to have a cunt and have it feel good. I can move my cock, and know exactly what that sensation would be like for her. She can sense the equivalent of what I’m feeling, though she doesn’t have a cock. So how do we know that about each other’s sensations? It’s not telepathy, but it comes from very close physical and mental communion. 

In bdsm sessions it’s the same. When it’s working well and the session is intense and the dominant and submissive are in tune with each other, and focussed on each other, then I know how a command will affect her; I know how a stroke of the cane will feel to her. She knows how her offered body looks, to me, and how it affects me. Each knows the other’s pleasures, though she may have no dominant desires, and I have no submissive desires.

When I’m cold and sore-muscled and exhausted from climbing, and feeling terrific, has that got something of the pleasure that some submissives take from pain? I don’t know, but I suspect so. There’s no submission or surrender, because I don’t really have that as a desire. But there is a kind of joy in pain.

At least when it stops. Bath for me.