I considered putting my fingers in her mouth, making her lick them clean. But perhaps that’d be in the wrong genre. Another time. “Hold out your hands, Chloe.”
“Yes, sir.” Chloe obeyed, and watched me lift the strap and let it fall behind my shoulder. I didn’t know how hard I should swing it, but without some force it wouldn’t swing at all. Well, many generations of real schoolgirls and schoolboys had been strapped on the hand, so although I disapproved of real corporal punishment, hand-strapping must be basically safe.
I swung the strap as gently as I could while making sure the folded leather arced through the air and landed on Chloe’s outstretched hands. There was a loud swack – a heavy piece of leather doesn’t want to be gentle – and a musical “ah ow!” from Chloe.
She’d flinched before the strap landed, and winced attractively when it did. It had hurt, which was good, but not too much. It hadn’t jolted her out of her game. She kept her hands steady. A second or two later she said, “One, thank you, Sir.”
Wrong genre? Musical? LOL!
You know, during a recent scene, there was one point at which the dom pointed out to me (with several demonstrations) that my gasps started before each blow landed. I had no idea what to make of this at the time. I even wondered whether he was finding it annoying and wanted me to correct it, but naturally I couldn’t do anything about it. 🙂 It has slowly dawned on me that maybe he was just telling me one more thing he appreciated about my reactions?
The thing about making Chloe taste her own cunt, by licking my fingers clean, was that it didn’t seem to belong in a teacher/schoolgirl scenario. They start out innocent before they get utterly depraved. Er, I mean the scenarios.
Also, I’d known some girls who’d been unsure about (receiving) oral sex, and not keen to kiss me immediately after I’d done them with my face. Chloe hadn’t been that shy about her own cunt, but I hadn’t made her lick her own wetness off my fingers before, either. I didn’t know whether she’d find it challenging. And I was about to give her the first strapping of her life, which would also be the first I’d ever given. That was enough new stuff for one day.
So I was still learning, and being “considerate”. Now, I wouldn’t care about genres, or whether a woman would be shy or grossed about tasting her own fluids. If she were, then I’d enjoy the idea of flooding her with new sensations.
As for the vocal sounds of women receiving discipline, that’s the second sweetest sound the world offers. (Orgasm noises are better still, obviously.) Once you’ve made that sound happen, you want to hear it a lot, I’m afraid. I’m sure the dom you were playing with absolutely loved your gasps.
I’d like to think it is also a matter of whether you think they can safeword/recover all right. You probably have more confidence in your judgment and your partners’ resilience now than you did back then?
By the way, it would be nice to be able to subscribe to comments. It’s a hassle checking through archives to see whether you’ve replied to a comment. Jetpack has the option somewhere.
Yes, now I’d just make sure we were clear on safewords before we started, and then go ahead and not worry about genres or whether the submissive wanted to taste her cunt on my fingers, or cock. And now I’d know (which I didn’t then) that it didn’t matter whether she liked it or not, because if she didn’t like it she’d enjoy not liking it.
But Chloe was only the third girl I’d done anything bdsm-related with, and for the first two women we hadn’t gone past hand spanking and some other careful impact play and bondage.
I still wasn’t sure, then, how domming a woman was compatible with being a good person/man. And I had a hell of a lot to learn about submission, and what it was that a submissive wanted to experience.
At that stage I was just amazed to get permission to do things that I wanted to do, and I didn’t want to risk losing that permission by (I thought) pushing it too far.
I was barely starting to learn about what desire to submit was, how deep and dark that desire could be – at least matching my strongest desires as a dominant – and how to satisfy that desire. So Chloe and that stupid role play was the start of my serious bdsm education.
The other thing was politics. I’ve never been any good at doing something that crosses one of my lines and thinking, “fuck ethics; it feels good”. I need to work out what it means, whether it’s okay, and why it’s okay, before I can relax and enjoy myself.
This definitely isn’t a boast. It can be a slightly irritating quality, and it doesn’t even mean I behave unusually ethically – like everyone else, I just try. It only means that I have to think it through and work out if it’s okay before I can feel good about it. So back then I was being very careful about what I did as a dom.
Now I’ve worked out most of that political/philosophical stuff, at least enough to keep me comfortable, and I can relax and follow how the moment and the submissive are flying. And know that the most generous thing I can do is use her as hard and as ruthlessly as I want for my pleasure.
Which, let’s face it, is kind of paradoxical, and I was always a bit slow with paradoxes.
The comments thing. You’re right. I’m going to have to set up devices for following this blog, and following comments.
I’m a complete techno-klutz, and it’ll take me a while.
I’ve only just got used to the idea that people actually read this thing. Chars!