The bdsm Onion

Here’s a sample story from The Daily Flogger, the authentic and reliable source for all bdsm-themed news. Like The Onion, it can bring tears to your … oh, forget it. It’s an amusing site, if some of it’s a bit more mean-spirited than I strictly like. But funny is funny. I recommend taking a look. You can check the rest of the nooz here:

http://www.thedailyflogger.com/

Woman Uses Safeword; Foils Rapist

August 11, 2014 

By 

 

SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO

policeIn a shocking turn of events, Shawna Simonson found herself the victor in a battle of wills when she outsmarted her would-be rapist.

“We were alone in a dark parking lot. It was about 2 in the morning and I couldn’t find my keys.  Before I know it, he has a gun and throws me to the ground.  I could feel the gun pressed against my back and he was pulling my pants down.”

It was then that Simonson came up with an idea.  She screamed the word “Red,” the safeword from her local BDSM dungeon.

The attacker immediately stopped his assault and stood up, putting away the gun and ran off.

“I am still not sure what happened,” Simonson told The Daily Flogger, “it was funny to watch, because his pants were pulled down and his dick was hard.  It kinda bounced as he ran.”

Sven Woolewoo, proprietor of the local dungeon The Leather Dominion, explained the way safewords work.  “If you are into BDSM, they have a quasi magical power, the power to make bad things stop, simply because you say it.”

Local police say “that is the first time we have ever heard of that technique working.  We don’t recommend it, but then again, it probably can’t hurt.”

Simonson was grateful it worked, “I am just glad I didn’t go with ‘yellow.’  Who knows if he would have stopped or just checked in.”

photo credit: YVRBCbro cc

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