Lewis Carroll’s Re-Joycings!

 I wrote a series of stories, in which the punchline was always a deeply stupid re-working of the celebratory chortle from Jabberwocky: “Oh frabjous day! Calloo callay!” 

I promised to collect them. 

I thought there were five or six of them, but tragically I can only find four. But here we go! And here they are:

  1. HP Lovecraft rang his friend Lewis Carroll. “My doom is upon me! The Great Dead Old One moved into the Alpine house next door! He’s tentacular, and his Doomed House keeps getting nearer and – AAARRRGH!” Silence. Carroll hung up. He breathed, “Oh frabjous day! Cthulu Chalet!”
  2. Lewis Carroll was concerned that moorland drainage and increased forest growth was leading to the extinction of a species of long-billed, wading birds.  But John Ruskin told him there were still plenty in France. “Oh frabjous day,” breathed Carroll. “Curlews in Calais!”
  3. After Lewis Carroll left the dentist, his fillings started picking a strange radio signal from the future: the B-52s singing “Love Shack”, through a fracture in time. He listened, appalled, and said, “O fractious day! Canoodle chalet?”
  4. Lewis Carroll fell asleep while he was out in his inflatable canoe. It got caught by the wind and blown across the channel. Eventually he saw a guy sunbathing on a beach. He called out, “Where am I?” The Frenchman realised this must be a lost Englishman. He said, “O frabjous day! Canoe to Calais!”

And, just for Jabberwocky re-working fans, here’s one more: 

5.    Lewis Carroll was talking to Dickens, after his triumphant American tour. Dickens told him one of the odder sights was what the Americans called, “eckdysiasts”. “What is that?” asked Carroll. “Essentially, they dance and take their clothes off. After they’ve undressed they still dance, but use balloons to cover certain bits of their bodies.” “Oh frabjous day!” said Carroll. “Balloon ballet!”

 

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