At about 12 minutes of toothpaste clitoral sensation, Lisa was not keeping herself still, and she got paddled as I’d promised. 

Floaty!

The paddling turned out to make it easier for her, because after a few swats she seemed to be overwhelmed with sensual information – if you can call the impact of a paddle “information” – and she just held herself in position and let things happen. Everything went wet and warm and floaty.

The toothpaste seemed to lose its heat, or just quieten down to being a bit warm and not uncomfortable, after about half an hour.

Obviously the timing will vary according to the kind of toothpaste, the woman’s pain threshold, how lubricated she was when the toothpaste was applied, plus random factors like mood and timing and, well, chance. 

I scooped off the toothpaste with my tongue, because it felt like a good idea, and the toothpaste on clitoris experience segued into other things. 

Afterwards, Lisa rated it higher than I did. The combination of clitoral heat-torture plus the paddle was a memory she used when she was masturbating, later. That’s high praise. From my point of view both the application and the removal were fun, and forcing her to keep still and dealing with the inevitable failure were hot, but I’d rate the whole toothpaste thing only as a B. 

Figging, with a peeled piece of ginger root inserted into the anus, is something I’d rate as an A. Maybe that’s just because the ginger root is organic while toothpaste is more artificial, and me, I’m a country boy at heart. Figging also seems to have a slower build-up of heat and a longer effect. Maybe I prefer figging because I can absolutely slather my cock with cold cream and bugger her afterwards, knowing that the cold cream is a delicious relief after the ginger.   

So I’d rate toothpasting, if that’s what we’re going to call it, as a modest success. I’m glad to have it in my repertoire, but it didn’t change my life. (Or Lisa’s.)