In good company

I’m ridiculously pleased that I’ve been listed as one of the Top 100 Sex Bloggers, over at Molly’s Daily Kiss. 

When I first started this blog, I didn’t have any audience, and for a long time I doubted that anyone was reading the thing at all. (I didn’t have a Site Visit counter when I started.)

I decided that that meant I could say anything, without worrying about having to fudge or falsify too much, except for preserving anonymities. 

One thing I wanted to do with this blog was to tell the truth about being a male dom. I wanted to get away from The Dom as Superhero. I make mistakes. I’m not careless but I can be breathtakingly naive, including about my own motives. I like sex two hells of a lot, but sometimes I just fall asleep, and sometimes I take breaks.

As a dom I take charge. Generally, it’s what the submissive woman I’m with wants me to do. If she doesn’t want that, then it doesn’t happen. It’s what I want to do, most of the time. But sometimes I’m faking it and this blog is where I’ll admit it: I may have no clue what that submissive woman should be told to do.

If it’s about sex I’m confident I’ll think of something good, but if it’s a life issue like work or family problems, then I may have some relevant experience (I’ve been a union rep, and I’ve been a counsellor, for example) but often I won’t know a really good answer. I do my best to help her work something out, but I’m not always sure how helpful I’ve been. So this blog features a lot of stuff about that kind of self-doubt and worry. 

Your ridiculously coiffed author, celebrating the Top 100 Sex Blogger badge. Scary happy

It’s true that a number of submissive women have wanted to play with me, or live with and be loved by me. That’s why I can go into situations with some confidence that things will turn out ok, and sexy. It’s also the reason I haven’t run out of stories yet.

But it’s also true that I’m a short, not exceptionally fit dom with fucking ridiculous hair, and no clear idea of why the hell anyone would want to bed me.

I mean, bed me for the first time. This is realism, not false modesty. I do know reasons a woman might want to fuck me again.

So this blog is partly about bodies that meet and celebrate, and how utterly wonderful bdsm can feel. It’s also partly about desires and fears, and in my case the planning and the guesswork that goes into a session or a long-term project. I’ll write about the submissive woman’s feelings, as far as I can read them (or listen when she tells me), and how a planned bdsm session will change to take her emotional and sexual responses into account. The ass and the heart need each other.

So I tell the truth as far as I know it about each story, and I hope that it makes entertaining reading. I change names and other identifying details. With only a couple of exceptions, where I’ve been specifically asked to write something, I’ve never written about a woman I’m currently involved with. I mostly don’t know the truth well enough to tell it, until a bit of time has passed.

Anyway, now I have readers. I’m grateful to you all, and I hope you keep coming back. I’m just going to keep on writing as if no-one can see this blog.