So she and I are holding each other, after she had her breath back, but things are wrong.

I’m supposed to be in charge. Things are right when I judge her conduct, and decide whether she needs reward or punishment, and decide when she’s forgiven. She likes to be a little afraid of me, when I judge her. She’s proud that discipline, for her, is very strict. I don’t let disobedience slip, and when I cane her, I cane hard. Though the pain turns her on, my little masochist, she still fears it.

But it’s sexy and fun fearing me because I’m in charge. Being afraid because I’m choking her and I don’t even realise: that’s not fun. So at this moment I’m judging myself, not her, and I’m not impressed.

She knew I felt bad, and tried to reassure me. And though that was nice and I appreciated it, I didn’t want her to feel that she had to look after me.

So, I decided, I’d drag her to bed and apply the kiss of life to her cunt. That should cheer her up.