I mentioned I had to get a new phone, a couple of days ago, after its predecessor plunged out of a Jeep and onto the carpark asphalt.  And it shattered.

So I got myself a new phone and then spent even more time than it took me to buy the phone,  searching for advanced cellphone covers.

My hunt soon focussed on jello-based covers.

They seemed to be the least obviously self-destructive kind on sale. And I discovered that there’s a brand that advertises itself as “feather-light, ultra-thin protection”. They meant protection … for phones.

The guys running the phone shop didn’t have filthy minds, and couldn’t see why that made me laugh. Once I understood that they hadn’t noticed how odd that wording was, to describe a phone cover, that seemed sufficient reason not to explain it to them. Let 30-year old innocence thrive!

Anyway, I bought the condom phone. You never know where I might need it to go. It does, after all, vibrate.