A man wrote to ask if I’d train his wife while he watched. It just wouldn’t work, for me. Actually, the request was a one-liner, unaccompanied by any information about him or his wife, or even, since I’m a shallow soul, a picture of this trainable wife of his. So this wouldn’t be tempting in the specific case even if the idea was tempting in general.

But even if his wife looked like Scarlett Johansson and he’d written a letter as charming and voluble as Cary Grant, it still wouldn’t be tempting.   

It’s that bdsm has to be personal, for me anyway. Even when it’s casual and between me and a woman I’ve never met before and may well never meet again, it’s still personal. The focus and the energy has to be between the dominant and the submissive or it’s not really there.