The previous episode is here.
Diane had said that vampires didn’t get whipped. I said, “Well, you do.”
“Well, I’m a vampire pervert. Um. Jaime?”
“Does it hurt? I mean, you’re going to make me bleed, with these.” She nodded at the bundle of switches in my hand. “That’s the idea, yes? Will it hurt?”
This is why we should have started this conversation earlier. I said, “truthfully, yes. But also not exactly. If you’re turned on and it’s all working, then it’ll hurt you a lot and it won’t hurt you at all. Like firewalking. Don’t stop and you’ll sail through unharmed. But: you’ve had someone bite you.”
“Well, I don’t know what that’s like, but I think this could hurt about as much, but its more like a good pain. When it’s sexy it doesn’t hurt.”
“It’s not only biting. Sometimes vampires cut the skin and suck, if they don’t want to bite.”
“Yeah, well, that’s a vampire problem, I don’t care. When I’m birching you, the issues are going to be different. And if you find it’s too much, I don’t want to be doing something that’s no fun. The main thing there is: well, you’ve heard of safewords.”
“Yeah. If I say the safeword, then you stop, right?”
“That’s right. Well, your safeword is ‘monozygotic embryology.'”
“Mono-what? My safeword is WHAT?”
“Yeah, what I mean is: you don’t need to remember a magic word. In practice, if it’s not working for you, just tell me it’s too much, or it’s not sexy, and you want me to stop it. I don’t care what words you use, and I’ll stop. And if you want I’ll fuck you stupid instead. Okay?”
“Okay. I can say ‘psychotic embolism,” or whatever that was, but I can just say, ‘hey, this is no fun.’ Okay.”
We’d calmed down too much, with all this meta-talk. It was time to pick up the energy and the pace. “Good. I’m not going to talk about rules again. Take your shirt off.”
“Take your fucking shirt off, right here, right now in this park. Strip. Now.”
The next episode is here.