The Food for Thought Friday team is asking:
Nudity
Are you at ease being naked? Do you feel more comfortable clothed or unclothed? Can you explain why you feel this way?
Response
I’m at ease with being naked. It helps that I’m a straight man, and that heterosexual women seem prepared to overlook flaws that a gay man perhaps wouldn’t. So I try to keep fit, but my fitness does fluctuate.
That doesn’t seem to stop some women from desiring me. There’s a real difference between my self-assessment of how sexy I look naked, and the assessment of most straight women who get to look at me naked. They don’t run out of the room screaming. Well, mostly, with honourable exceptions. (Those ones I chase. It’s part of my fitness program. Er, I mean that in a playful sense, not the dangerous-stalker sense.)
Happy to be a naked man on High Street
I don’t understand why some women fancy me, but once I understood that it’s their judgement that matters, not mine, and that they were prepared to give me a pass mark, I got comfortable with it. I’m not going to question it.
Whether I prefer to be clothed or not depends on where I am. On High Street I don’t often prance around naked, because it would only upset some people without any great benefit to me.
(Also, I live up a mountain, and most of the year it’s c-cold. If some girl was overwhelmed with lust at the sight of my naked body in mid-winter, and grabbed my penis, it’d probably snap off. (If it was warmer it might come off. Tish-BOOM.)
In my bedroom, I’ll be naked in a woman or girl’s presence once t’s clear that it wouldn’t be actually weird. When sex is at least on the cards. Because being coy strikes me as bullshit, and because either she’ll have undressed herself or I will have undressed her, so by that stage I’ll be feeling over-dressed. Alternatively, I may undress first if we’re being sexual but she seems to be feeling nervous about her body. It can help make the thing more relaxed, especially on a first time.
And she seems happy to be a naked girl on the street.
The thing is, I like girls to be naked when we’re being intimate. I really, really like naked girls. Quite enthusiastically, really.
A girl in lingerie, or dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl or something, is very charming. But once we’re in bed, or nearly, I prefer bare female skin more than anything else in the known universe. And I have to be naked too, so that I can feel her skin everywhere, and she can feel mine.
Especially when fucking. This may not be a terribly original thing for me to say, but it’s just true.
That’s all.
I don’t recall screaming, but if I did, I had probably seen a spider. Or maybe your hands were cold. And I wasn’t running away, I was just nipping out to get some fresh water. But I’m enjoying the pursuit anyway.
That thing with the long black appendages was a flogger, not some giant arachnid. But your screams and rear view when retreating were most charming. And you looked divine when you recovered and advanced.
My previous reply was channeling this:
Sure, deck your lower limbs in pants;
yours are the limbs, my sweeting.
You look divine when you advance –
Have you seen yourself retreating?
– Ogden Nash.
Bloody hell, if that had been a flogger-sized spider, you would have needed to figure out how to explain to the good folks at the front desk that you needed a ladder to peel me off the ceiling.
I’m very glad that we remained in more relaxed and charming territory.
I’m pleased to say that the biggest and hairiest spiders up my mountain are entirely harmless. But they do look alarming.
Worse, if I tried to flog a girl with one, it’d come apart. I expect the girl would, ah, decompensate as well.
I use one of those sink unblocker suction cups to prise girls down from the ceiling. After first wheeling the bed into place for them to fall onto. I’m not a _barbarian_. Well, except sometimes.