It seems that when you have supposedly non-sexual bdsm, one of two things will happen. One option is that the rules will get broken, and the partners will eventually fuck, or at least start giving each other “relief”. So then it’s a sexual bdsm relationship, explicitly as well as covertly. I’d call that a happy ending, really.
A similar but less happy kind of boundary-breaking, from the supposedly disciplinary to the sexual, is also involved in many child sexual abuse incidents in schools and orphanages. Children raped by Catholic priests and lay brothers, for example, often were raped in a corporal punishment setting. Corporal punishment often happened away from the rest of the school or orphanage, with plenty of sound insulation. The basement, laundry or boiler room, for example.
That gave the adult privacy alone with the child, with a strong expectation that the child will unquestioningly obey, and that the adult is empowered to adjust or remove the child’s clothes, touch the child’s body and hurt the child. The stories now emerging from the victims of church institutions for children in Australia, Ireland, the United Kingdom, the United States and elsewhere are enraging and heart-breaking.
Parents should not tolerate corporal punishment in schools, in any country or state in which it currently exists.
The second option is that the partners in this non-sexual discipline session stand up, with the man tucking his erection behind his belt and the woman patting down her hair, and they shake their hot damp hands and they go home.
But once they get home, they release their sexual arousal by masturbating, or they jump-fuck their regular partner.
Personally I’d never agree to a discipline-only relationship. If I discipline a woman I desire (and I’m not going to discipline a woman I don’t desire), then I’ll be looking at her body, touching her body, watching her, smelling her, knowing I’m arousing her, making her move and making her cry out. To do all that and then not follow up by consoling her cunt with a smack and some stroking, and then a hard fucking, would be torture. And I just hate torture.