Lewis Carroll’s Re-Joycings!

 I wrote a series of stories, in which the punchline was always a deeply stupid re-working of the celebratory chortle from Jabberwocky: “Oh frabjous day! Calloo callay!” 

I promised to collect them. 

I thought there were five or six of them, but tragically I can only find four. But here we go! And here they are:

  1. HP Lovecraft rang his friend Lewis Carroll. “My doom is upon me! The Great Dead Old One moved into the Alpine house next door! He’s tentacular, and his Doomed House keeps getting nearer and – AAARRRGH!” Silence. Carroll hung up. He breathed, “Oh frabjous day! Cthulu Chalet!”
  2. Lewis Carroll was concerned that moorland drainage and increased forest growth was leading to the extinction of a species of long-billed, wading birds.  But John Ruskin told him there were still plenty in France. “Oh frabjous day,” breathed Carroll. “Curlews in Calais!”
  3. After Lewis Carroll left the dentist, his fillings started picking a strange radio signal from the future: the B-52s singing “Love Shack”, through a fracture in time. He listened, appalled, and said, “O fractious day! Canoodle chalet?”
  4. Lewis Carroll fell asleep while he was out in his inflatable canoe. It got caught by the wind and blown across the channel. Eventually he saw a guy sunbathing on a beach. He called out, “Where am I?” The Frenchman realised this must be a lost Englishman. He said, “O frabjous day! Canoe to Calais!”

And, just for Jabberwocky re-working fans, here’s one more: 

5.    Lewis Carroll was talking to Dickens, after his triumphant American tour. Dickens told him one of the odder sights was what the Americans called, “eckdysiasts”. “What is that?” asked Carroll. “Essentially, they dance and take their clothes off. After they’ve undressed they still dance, but use balloons to cover certain bits of their bodies.” “Oh frabjous day!” said Carroll. “Balloon ballet!”

 

E(lust): Simple as 123!

Elust 123

Photo courtesy of Deviant Succubus

Welcome to Elust 123

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #124? Start with the rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Bittersweet Symphony

Breast cancer awareness – check your boobs

The devil is in the detail…

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Metamorphosis: Fat, Fit and In Between

Contraception- life without birth control

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Take It To The Limit
Marshmallows
Spank me Red
Custom Made Cuckold Porn

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Control
The Image (1975): The Celluloid Dungeon
Return to CMnf
Latex for the Curious – Catsuits
Negotiating a stunt cock
Ruby Ring Piece
13 reasons why I love play parties
You Got a Piercing Where?

Erotic Fiction

Alice’s Minotaur: A Ravishment Tale
Shadow of You
Punished
The Jealous Wife
What we both want
Rugby world cup I only care about the fucking
The Red Thread
Frigid

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Loosing My Virginity
5 things that encourage Dominance
My Happy Place is an 80s (Sex) Mansion

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Sex Work – How My Views Have Changed
Golden Brown

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Paradise Lost – Vale Sir Lust
My Nexplanon Implant Story: The Procedure
Elust

E[{lust} 121: That Jerusalem Mortimer guy, he’s a top blogger this month!

Photo courtesy of Steeled Snake

Welcome to Elust 121

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #122? Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ THIS MONTH’S TOP THREE POSTS ~

Breathe with me

DID and Relationships: It’s Complicated!

Neck constriction, choking and death

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Her Future Husband

Secretary

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

it’s the humilation

Erotic Non-Fiction

Vivid
Pleasure of the Unknown
A Face Fuck
Room with a View
Varna Nirvana

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

My thoughts on humiliation
Tell me about… Power Exchange
That time I dumped George Clooney

Blogging

How To Use Your Stats When You’re Stumped

Erotic Fiction

those three words
A Lesson
Love in the Dunes
The Answer
Public Punishment
Sacrosanct
The forgotten instruction

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Taking Rejection Online
I vow to…
Capable: Two Cocks, One Hole
How To Be Vulnerable When Dating

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Books to Start a Party in Your Pants
Being fuck positive in public
Elust

Bound for glory

I don’t do bondage often, and it shows. It’s functional rather than elegant, when I do it. I prefer the submissive to stay in her place because she’s giving me her obedience, not because she can’t move. Choice, to me, is incredibly sexy.

But I learned, with time, that bondage allows the submissive to go into a mental place, with the brain doing alpha waves, which is different from subspace but very close to it. It’s the space next door, and it’s a place she likes to be, sometimes. 

So, if she’s been good, a submissive gets to go there. I have ropes.

 

E{lust} 120: Duets in the sun

Elust 120

Photo courtesy of Purple’s Gem

Welcome to Elust 120

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #119? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

In full swing

The Hunter

[Sexuality] The Pain of Tolerance

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

First Ritual

Being Overlooked

Erotic Non-Fiction
Interlude
Piercings – His and Hers
Ever had your skirt fall off while walking
Tiny Man-Clit Meets The Bigdownunder

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish
Frustrated Whimpers

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Surviving Toxicity
How To Have Sex When You Live At Home
When life gets in the way
George Clooney said I looked like Geena Davis
Fuck You Dad
I guess it feels a little wierd now

Erotic Fiction
Natalie’s New Friend
Kneel before me
Lasshole fucker 4
Deep Impact

Elust

E(lust) 119

Photo courtesy of Floss Does Life

Welcome to Elust 119

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #119? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Poly wobbles

Friendly Concern

Unmentionable

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Breakthrough

Wait Silently

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Sensual Indulgence, Familiar and New

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Teaching (from) the bottom (part 1)
An Intro to Ethical Cum Tributes
What is Dominance?
Reader Q&A: Femdom Podcast 105 [w transcript]
Unmentionable Lifestyle
In the wild

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Laughter, The Best Aphrodisiac
I Hate Bullies!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Devilish Threesome Fun
Cumming Awake
Flying Chaste

Body Talk and Sexual Health

How Taking Nudes Taught Me To Love Myself
Guest post: Trans access to abortion

Erotic Fiction

Milky Way
More Than Friends Prologue
Desperate
Twisted ~ Into The Woods ~ Lana’s Story
A Gift to the Gods
A New Fetish
Coitus Interruptus Vampyr
Making herself available

Writing About Writing

Smut Marathon – Round 4 Thoughts

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A True Friend
Trust your landmark and run through the smoke
I’m not interested.

Poetry

-06.06.19_12:20-
Elust

Food for Thought Friday: Mistake

The morning after the party,

A bedroom door opened and Cassie emerged, in a manga tee-shirt that hung almost to her knees. Cassie was a doctor, a glowing light-brown woman with large, almost black eyes and an extraordinarily sweet face framed by medium-length black hair. She was small but contoured. She lifted weights.

Cassie was embarrassed to find me, and uncertain of her welcome. Last night she’d performed the party’s most spectacular piece of bad behaviour, launching a screaming attack on her best friend, accusing her of fucking her last boyfriend, of pretending to be sweet but always undermining her and other feminine offences.

It’d been the least fun part of the evening, but I’d already forgiven her because the outburst had been so out of character, and because, only a few minutes later, Cassie had fallen asleep in that same friend’s arms. Wine sometimes solves the problems that it creates.

But Cassie was hung over, embarrassed and ashamed, so I hugged her. I let her go when she winced. But she emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, having dealt with her bladder and her head, and wrestled her way back into the hug. “I’m really sorry, Jaime. I don’t know what … Well, I’m sorry.”

“Ah, love, it’s okay. You’d had a bit of wine. And … you probably had reasons.” I found myself hugging Cassie with one arm while reaching down to squeeze her ass with my other hand.

Cassie rubbed my chest with her forehead. “No, I didn’t have reasons. Not good ones.”

“Well, okay, but I still know you’re a wee love. You’ve got years of credit with me; you can’t blow it in one evening.”

Cassie smiled up at me. “And I still don’t think it came from nowhere.” More smiles.

A nice man was being nice to her. And the ass-squeezing was probably a great comfort in her time of self-recrimination. Then information from that bottom-squeezing hand swamped my brain. I added, “Though … if you ever do anything like that again, Cassie, I’ll put you over my knee.”

It took me a moment to hear what I’d just said. I sounded like a roué in an ancient sex comedy, something black and white and British, on television at three in the morning, starring Terry-Thomas and Syd James. I’d kept bdsm hidden for years. I played bdsm with strangers, or I masturbated to dark fantasies, but I didn’t offer to spank my women friends. Or I hadn’t until just then.

It was the stupidest thing I’d ever said. I wanted to slap my forehead, but I was patting Cassie’s ass and in the absence of complaint from her I’d keep doing that. Still, I’d just threatened her with assault: low-level violence, some sexual content. We still hugged, but she was no longer holding an honourable gentleman.

Cassie didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t a gentleman. Her eyes widened, but she said, almost without a pause, “Yes, yeah, I know. You should.”

Masturbation Monday: Masturbation, on a Monday 2

Ngaire’s fingers touched the grooves between her plump labial lips and her inner thighs, and she gasped. 

She said, spitting out the words in short bursts as she squeezed her lips, lightly hen hard, with her fingers and thumbs. “Tell me. About fucking me. Up the arse.” 

She pressed one finger between her lips, now soft and puffy, and pressed downwards. Inwards. Freddie said, “Uh.” He was reacting to her actions, or trying to think of a story.

Ngaire didn’t care which. She put a second finger into her cunt, her two middle fingers, and let them enter all the way. Her palm pressed hard against her cunt. Freddie said, “I walk into your room. You look like you’re asleep. On your stomach. Your ass is up. You are so beautiful. I smack your ass lightly, because I can’t not, and anyway I know you’re only pretending to be asleep.” 

The fingers inside her hooked, to press upwards at spongy skin. She’d once fucked a doctor, who’d told her that spongelike skin was called the anterior vaginal wall. 

It had seemed incongruous; such a technical name for something so live and blooming. She grunted, raising her arse slightly from the bed. Still, men who know words like “anterior vaginal wall” make better lovers. Probably. She wanted to ask Freddie if he knew. But she couldn’t form or speak the necessary words now. 

“I take lube, that lube right there in fact, from beside your bed, and I pour some into the cleft of your ass, so it starts to run down to your little opening. I press my hand against your cunt while you feel the lube running down, and the first drops find your asshole, and gather there. It feels so innocent, but you know it’s to make it easier for you to take my cock.”  

The words reached her. She imagined that, that first entry, not by him but by oil. He probably wouldn’t guess she hadn’t had a cock in her arse before. She’d have to tell him. He’d be all blokey and proud about it, which would be annoying, but he needed to know: “be gentle with me!” She felt the muscles in her legs tautening, and she pressed her palm harder against her sweet, god, so alive, clitoris. She fucked herself harder and faster with her fingers. 

“I lube my forefinger so it’s nice and slippery, and then I slip it into your ass. You’re so tight, and I love thinking about how you’ll feel, those muscles round my cock. We’ll fit so well, my honey, beautiful Ngaire, you on your hands and knees, me covering you, my cock sliding slowly into your asshole.”

Ngaire grunted. Her mouth had opened, though she couldn’t speak, and she felt her stomach muscles tighten. Something was building. Inside her. She brought in her left hand, to rub against her clitoris while her right hand finger-fucked herself. She felt herself slowly fall back to the bed.  

“But you admit me easily, no qualm, no pain, all the way to the first knuckle. Then I press deeper, to the second knuckle. I move my finger inside you, to let you strip lube off it, and slowly withdraw. I put more lube onto my fingers. And I lean down and kiss your sweet ass. I can’t help that, any more than I can help smacking it. Then you feel two fingers at your entrance, slowly pressing, and you suddenly give, you give yourself to me, letting me in. And -“

But Ngaire had rediscovered the power of speech. She said, “Jofff! Ah! Fuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck me!” And that power that had been building inside her burst, from somewhere between her belly and the small of her back. A wave of pleasure and power took her. Shook her. Her face and throat in rictus. She screamed. Oh fuck.

She didn’t stop working at herself, her cunt. She screamed again. And then, a few frantic seconds later, again. She looked up at last, almost embarrassed, to see what Freddie thought.

He was still in his seat, but leaning forward. His face seemed fierce and gentle, at once. He’d been moved. Then he came forward, onto the bed, his body between her thighs, now fallen, spread and relaxed. He kissed her cunt. As though he was in love with it. He babbled, “Good girl, good girl, good girl, oh good girl…”  

Ngaire put her hand, smeared and wet with her own fluids, on the back of his head. 

E(lust) 117, on the way to heaven

Photo courtesy of Master’s Eye

Welcome to Elust 117

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #118? Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dominant presence

He Gripped Her Hand and Centered Her

Being alone together.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

What the fig?

Mind and body

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

O! or, errr… NO!: Orgasm Control in an F/m Dynamic

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Fantasies Never Let You Down
My First Love
New Fun with Old Friends
Sometimes coming joint second
emotional disconnection, sex and loneliness
People Don’t Talk about This Sh!t

Erotic Fiction

Waking the Fallen
Daisy
opera seria
Catch the Catcher
Club Dress Extended
Dreams … (the Second : Arabian Nights)
The orgasmic arch

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Five Senses of Sex
A public beating
Rope Dreams

Poetry

-01.04.19_00:22-

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Primal Regression and Submission
14 Qualities of a “Good” Dominant
Balance in F/m voices

Events

Do I want you to hold my hand?

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Sex in Class
That’s My Kink – All Hail The Nipple Clit

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why I’m not smiling for IWD

Elust